John Clarke Quotes

It was quite a tough school. Put it this way, we had our own coroner.

Have I seen Schindler's List? I was on Schindler's list - Dr Schindler my dentist that is.

This guy was going to marmalise me! I mean, where's the kudos in beating up a seven-stone fucking consumptive? I was a self-confessed coward, then as now. My coat of arms has been detailed elsewhere: four white feathers on a field of yellow. Nothing for me is more terrifying than physical pain....

I was met with the poet’s greatest enemy; indifference.

Do not go mental, and with that, goodnight.

One of the things that is his inability to contact him. He's never had a 'phone.   And before the days when mobile 'phones were popular you had to 'phone his mam.....

Never leave a bookies with a smile on your face.

Here he is.  All the way from Salford.  He's not my cup of tea but you might like him.

You can count on him. He'll always let you down.