George Carlin Quotes

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Comedian | May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008
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Quotes to Discover

Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.
Epictetus
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I thought Bolt was amazing, I mean, beating the world record and slowing down at the end, how galling has that got the for the other athletes? I never managed to do anything in 9.69 seconds, it took me ten seconds to watch him do that.
Usain Bolt
It will go down in history as a turning point for the music industry. This is landmark stuff. I can't overestimate it!
Steve Jobs
Success doesn't change you; fame does.
Whitney Houston
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He is a very smart cookie, Michael. He knows what he wants, he knows what he is doing. I have nothing but admiration. Also, he is a very kind person.
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson gave us pride. He gave us pride in our blackness, gave us pride that we can look good and be cool and be worldwide. Michael Jackson is a fucking icon. And I believe they took Michael Jackson down because he had too much power.
Michael Jackson
We also know first hand that Flash is the number one reason Macs crash.
Steve Jobs
Nobody makes me do anything I don't want to do. It's my decision. So the biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy. And that's how I have to deal with it.
Whitney Houston
Bob Dylan: I do know what my songs are about.
Playboy: And what's that?
Bob Dylan: Oh, some are about four minutes; some are about five, and some, believe it or not, are about eleven or twelve.
Bob Dylan
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You know the best thing about necrophilia? You don't have to bring flowers. Yeah, usually they're already there. Isn't that nice? It's nice. It's convenient.
George Carlin
The quality of your life is the quality of your communication.
Tony Robbins
[Belafonte]'d take me to perform for Martin Luther King's cause. But when they were marching I did not take part, because I was not a citizen
Miriam Makeba
You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
Zig Ziglar
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It is a lovely night, and they are much to be pitied who have not been taught to feel, in some degree, as you do; who have not, at least, been given a taste for Nature in early life. They lose a great deal.
Jane Austen
I think we need some new Christmas carols with a more modern approach. Of course, I wouldn't abandon the religious theme completely. How about "Holy Christ, the Christmas Tree's on Fire"? Or "Jesus, Can You Believe It's Christmas Again?" This ought to get the ball rolling; I'm hoping you people will take it from here.
George Carlin
Put the dwarf within you to sleep.
Tony Robbins